We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar. I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour. Song of Solomon 8:8-10I have no idea what verse 9 is talking about. Who builds palaces on walls, anyways? The rest of the verses? Yeah! The best brides appearantly need to be well endowed in the chest department, according to the bible and the wisest king ever to reign.
Yep! It's in The Bible.
6 comments:
This is good to know. It means I picked well.
Of course Solomon's sin because of his wives and his own delving into their false religion caused the kingdom to be ripped from his family's hands by God. But you'd have to actually read and understand the Bible to know that, right? For all the supposed history you have with scripture, Robert, you sure don't seem to know any of the context around the scripture you post.
RD86,
satire (noun)
1. A literary technique of writing or art which principally ridicules its subject often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. Humour is often used to aid this.
2. A satirical work.
In other words, I am completely ridiculing your holy book! I am also criticising the placement of erotic poetry in the bible. Did you know that I was told not to read SoS when I was a teen? I still think it's funny that there are books of the bible that some do not want their children to read. Yet, here you are saying, "Read the Bible! Read the Bible!"
I've read it twice from front to back and once again incompletely. I found it confusing, ridiculous, absurd, and sometimes brutal and stiflingly legalistic. There are a few good things in there, but you have to pick through all the crap to find them. Just think, I started my bible reading adventure because I thought it would help me know God better.
RD86, I know that I may take things out of context, or that I sometimes quote a verse literally when someone else thinks it should be interpreted metaphorically. I really don't care anymore. I feel that I am treating the bible with just the amount of respect it deserves, almost none.
That being said, I know all about the story of Solomon. Did you know that in my old KJV that I read as a kid, the captions above the chapters in SoS said crazy stuff like, "God demonstrates his love for Isreal." Then when I read the actual text, it talked about resting between boobs and breasts like young deer. Of course, my reaction was "WTF!"
Oh yeah, RD86. This series' purpose is to point out absurdities in the Bible. I don't care about context or contradiction with this series. What I care about is how the verse sounds when quoted. I think I picked a good one this time to demonstrate the silliness in the Bible.
More SoS treasures! (Remember, this is divinely inspired scripture.)
Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. 4:5
Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. 4:16
A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. 1:13
I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. 2:3b
My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself ... 5:4-6b
Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins. 7:2-3
I would have to say that SoS is the best book in the bible! No side hugging here! SoS is a crotch grinding, hip gyrating, erection boosting, divinely inspired masterpiece of holy scripture.
"Of course Solomon's sin because of his wives and his own delving into their false religion caused the kingdom to be ripped from his family's hands by God."
And, this has what to do with boobs and/or the OP?
"But you'd have to actually read and understand the Bible to know that, right?"
You gleaned that from reading something unconnected?
"For all the supposed history you have with scripture, Robert, you sure don't seem to know any of the context around the scripture you post."
Yes, I'm sure that you are infallible in your interpretations...
RD86 also said, "Of course Solomon's sin because of his wives and his own delving into their false religion caused the kingdom to be ripped from his family's hands by God."
Just think, the bible calls this idol worshiping, polygynist, tyrannical bigot the wisest king on earth. 1 Kings 3:12
I'll take Obama over Solomon any day.
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