Friday, January 15, 2010

A Blessing from God's Holy Word

In the comments from my last post, a commenter used Malachi 2:9 to justify his/her contempt of atheists who quote scripture.
Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people, according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.
When someone quotes the bible to me, I always look up the verse and read the entire chapter. I do this to get the context.

The second chapter of Malachi is presented as God speaking (through a prophet). It's important to realize that, when you read this verse.
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. Malachi 2:3
Thank you, commenter, for revealing this loving treasure from God's holy word to me.

I think it would sound way cool to quote Malachi 2:3 using a Darth Vader voice. Or, to actually depict Jesus holding something brown while quoting this verse, in a comic. (Jesus=God to some christians.)

I have poop and know how to use it!

Don't worry. I'm not in danger of being browned out by Jesus. This is a warning to corrupt preists, not godless heathens like me (verses 1,7). By the way, God is still speaking to corrupt preists when we get to verse 9. Appearantly, I'm not the only one who twists scripture to make a point.


Robert Madewell said...

More poopy verses from God's holy word:

Deuteronomy 23:12-14
Job 20:7
2 Kings 9:33-37
2 Kings 18:27 and Isaiah 36:12
Jeremiah 8:2, 16:4, 25:33
Ezekiel 4:12 (Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm! Good!)
Zephaniah 1:17

And to think that I was whipped as a child for saying, "poo poo!"

RD86 said...

These priests were corrupt because they twisted scripture. Same application, Mr. Madewell. BTW, did you know your name is written in thet Lamb's Book of Life?

ethinethin said...

That scripture applies to you, see? Expect god to spread dung upon thy visage, the dung of your solemn feast! Maybe that's metaphorical. It's hard to tell when the bible isn't being literal.

Robert Madewell said...

BTW, did you know your name is written in thet Lamb's Book of Life?"

How did my name get in there? Please take my name off of your list and never call this number again. I can't stand telemarketers! LOL!

I'm joking! I was always under the impression that you had to "be saved" and go through ritual repentance to get on that list. Actually, I did long ago, I guess. But, I don't believe there's anything there to save us. Make no mistake. I am not religious and I am definately not christian, anymore. To prove it, here's a bit of blasphemy to set you straight.

Jesus is Gross
(sung to the tune of Jesus Loves Me)

Jesus is gross
This I know
Malachi 2 tells me so.
Little ones he will corrupt
Spreading poo-poo so abrupt.
Yes Jesus is gross,
Yes Jesus is gross,
Yes Jesus is gross,
Malachi tells me so.

RD86 said...

Actually everyone's name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. It is blotted out when they die or on the day of judgment.

Robert Madewell said...

RD86, I don't think that is the orthodox view. I will research.

Robert Madewell said...

Ok, there's some confusion. Some say that everone is written in a book of life and are judged at the end of everything. If their works do not cut the mustard, then the name is blotted out. If the name is not in the book at the end of the judgement then it's torture forever by a merciful God for those souls. (Rev 20:12-15)

However, my understanding was that when you are saved you are written into that book. That was what was taught to me as a child. I can see how I got that message.

Biblical or not, it's still likely rubbish. The burden of proof is still on the one making the claims and no one has proven to my satisfaction that there is any kind of afterlife. If I am to accept the bible as evidence on the merit that someone says that it's God's word, I'd have to accept every other holy book as evidence as well. That's not somewhere that I want to go. I do not think, RD86, that you would suggest that either. As far as holy books go, the bible is not all that special. They all are claimed to be God's or some god's holy word. That is just not good enough reason, IMO.

Lorena said...

How did my name get in there? Please take my name off of your list and never call this number again. I can't stand telemarketers! LOL!

Yeah, that's pretty funny.